Black "Baby Buttcheek" blues

So I bought some yarn. Some really, really great yarn. I would call it delicious, yummy, and yea, even scrumptuous, but it has been presented to me that one cannot eat yarn, and therefore one cannot use taste-sensory adjectives.

So let me tell you about this yarn. The brand is Regia. It's German, so hat's off right there. It's superwash merino. Yes, that's right. Wash it, dry it, iron it, dry clean it; it scoffs at your attempts to shrink or felt it. It is, in fact, "male-proof." It contains Polyamid, a synthetic, to provide durability. And... not only is it 55% merino virgin wool, not only does it have 25% Polyamid, but also... *drum roll, Maestro* 20% silk. Oh yes, silk. Soft as sin silk.

It's the mostest perfectest yarn EVER. Washable, durable, AND soft as warm butter. It even comes in black. Can you imagine?

Somehow, and don't ask me how, because I'm still not quite sure how I managed to corner myself, I agreed to use this amazing yarn to make a friend a pair of socks. Ok, twist my arm. Truth is, of course, I'm going to enjoy knitting it up as much as I am going to enjoy giving it away, and all the better if it goes to a good home. So, since I know who it goes to, I should be all set, since I know his foot size. Right?

Wrong.

I've decided on making it a "plain" sock, 2 inch ribbed cuff. The problem comes when trying to guess the needles and number of cast on stiches. The 72 st ribbed sock was too loose. The 72 st stockinette should be fine. The 64 stockinette is too tight. Now, prepare yourself. They all have the same guage. Yep. The blue, 64 st ones have a guage of 8 st/inch, on size 2's. The black ones are 8st/inch, on size 1's. Wait, because it gets worse. The kicker? They're the exact same circumference. Yep. Somehow, even though the stitches are exactly the same size, the one that's 64 st is exactly as wide as the 72 st one. If anything, the blue one might be two stiches or so wider.

Ya, I know. It's a mathematical impossibility, and I suspect Lord Murphy is having a good chuckle at my expense.

Still, when I try the blue one on, it's slightly too tight. No, I don't know how or why.

So I sit here, trying to figure out what size needles and how many stitches to use. Obviously, my guage isn't going to mean squat. I'm tempted to split the difference: do 68 stitches on size 1.5's. Then I start thinking, what if that's too small? I like a tight, sturdy fabric, so I really do think the size 2's might be too big. But what if 72 stitches is too many for 1.5's and the sock is too big? Or what if I use 1's and it's too tight of a fabric, and the softness of this gorgeous yarn is knitted into coarseness, through no fault of its own?

I feel a little woozy. I'm going to go lie down.