Sunday, September 25, 2005

Do not meddle!

While writing a paper on Tolkien for a class, I came across several lists of "altered" quotes. The original quote is by Gildor, from The Fellowship of the Ring, written by J.R.R. Tolkien. Gildor told Frodo, "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." Because there were several lists of altered quotes and no single place seemed to have them all, I decided to post them here. I have no idea who actually came up with the parodies.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are insignificant and taste good with peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons: though you taste terrible, they're willing to bear it to be rid of the nuisance.
Do not meddle in the affairs of kitties, for they are subtle and will pee on you while you sleep.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
Do not meddle in the affairs of demons, for you are crunchy and taste good with hotsauce.
Do not meddle in the affairs of bards, for they are unsubtle, and your name scans to Greensleeves.
Do not meddle in the affairs of artists, for this is satire and you would look good in lingerie.
Do not meddle in the affairs of slashers (fanfiction writers), for you are cute and would look good with other men.
Do not meddle in the affairs of shield-maidens, for they are tough and quick to punch you out.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Unix, for it is subtle and quick to core dump.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Vorlons, for they are angry and too quickly subtle.
Do not meddle in the affairs of hackers, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
Do not meddle in the affairs of moderators, for they are quick to anger and have not need for subtlety.
Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are easy to annoy and have the root password.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are horny and will screw you next.
Do not meddle in the affairs of professors, for they are subtle and quick to flunk you.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cyborgs, for you are conductive and can support 110 volts.
Do not meddle in the affairs of the drug warriers, for they are morally certain and quick to use asset forfeiture.
Do not meddle in the affairs of witches: (picture of frog).

And this one:

Gandalf: O chicken, do not meddle in the affairs of roads, for you are tasty and good with barbecue sauce.

There are more, of course, but the theme is the same, usually with only the subject changed from the original. I had a lot of fun looking these up. Hope they give a chuckle!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

I'm wool.

You are Shetland Wool.
You are Shetland Wool. You are a traditional sort who can
sometimes be a little on the harsh side. Though you look
delicate you are tough as nails and prone to intricacies.
Despite your acerbic ways you are widely respected and even revered.

What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by


Friday, September 16, 2005

"Think Mink"



This afghan also came from Leisure Art's "48 Hour Afghan" leaflet. It's not exactly mink, though. It's orange because that is the recipient's favorite color (not a color I'm crazy about). I used Lion's chenille, and it's incredibly soft and warm. I don't have square holes like the book's picture says, but I'm not sure if I did anything wrong. The gauge was correct, I used the right number of skeins, and it came out to be the right size, so oh well!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Waterfall


The pattern for this blanket came from Leisure Arts' "48-Hour Afghans." I used Lion's Homespun in 315 Tudor. I altered the pattern just a bit to make it bigger, increasing both sides by one pattern repetition and the middle by two.